Thursday, March 31, 2016

On Self Esteem

     Here in the US of A people have completely lost their minds. This all started back in the 50's or 60's when psychologists noticed that high achievers had high self esteem. This led to a hypothesis that if we could raise someone's self esteem, they in turn would become higher achievers.

     This hypothesis filtered over into the education community and the media and the relationship between self esteem and success was reduced to the level of absurdity. Little Johnny flunked his math test? He must have low self esteem. Jane is a whore? She must have low self esteem. Steve has started stealing? Well, it can only be one thing...low self esteem.

     Outcomes were completely divorced from the behaviors that caused them. People's failures weren't their own. Blame was placed on institutions, such as school, family or even society,  for failing to build up the person's self esteem. Consequently, we now have a nation of self entitled whiners, who expect everything to go their way without them having to do anything to earn success. They are then disappointed, angered even, they may even lash out when reality fails to confirm their inflated sense of self.

     There is a chance that you are part of the aforementioned generation. If you are, let this post be the antidote to the poisonous ideas society may have put in your mind.

     You are not special.

     Read that again and let it soak in.

     Even if you have some special ability or gift, nobody cares. And nothing will come of your gift unless you mix it with a lot of work. Even then nobody is likely to care.

     Don't expect to have people clamoring to congratulate you when you do find success. Your successes don't mean anything to anyone but you, your spouse and maybe your parents. Honestly, your kids probably won't even care. Your friends and extended family may actually be jealous of your success. Nobody else will care.

     That's the reality.

     Any unwashed hippies who hear this truth, will say, "Hey man, we're, like all in this together. We got to help each other out, man." I've known hippies like this, and let me tell you, the don't say these kinds of things out of the naive, altruistic goodness of their heart. No they say this because they are weak and lazy and they intend to be net beneficiaries of a "help each other out" society. They plan on receiving more help than they give.

     I hate hippies.

     In the event that you are one of the diligent few, unaffected by society's feel good drivel, let me also say: have low expectations. Many think because they aim high their outcomes will be correspondingly high.

     They won't be.

     A farmer may plant crops on 10 acres, but he doesn't expect to harvest all that he planted. He knows that drought, insects, fungi and floods will come. And when they do, they will decrease the yield. The farmer plants 10 acres hoping that he'll get 5-8 acres worth of crops.

     Likewise, know that the fruits of your labor will be less than you hope for. So never make plans based on best case scenarios. Instead, base your plans on the worst case scenario.

     For those of you taken in by the happy horse crap propaganda that they taught you in school, this might all come across as a slap in the face. Good. I'm trying to wake you up to the realities of the world. And slapping someone in the face usually wakes them up. If you go through life with a misunderstanding of reality, you'll be confused and frustrated when things don't go the way you anticipated. After years of this frustration you may have a mental break and find yourself on top of a building shooting at passersby, convinced that they are to blame for all of your woes.

     So when you think about it, this is a humanitarian piece. I'm helping to prevent mass shootings.

     In summation, you aren't special, very few people care about you, and your plans will be less successful than you hope. Deal with it. Who would have ever thought that this is the type of thing that would stop mass shootings?

Catch you guys next time.

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