Shut Up!

"Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent: with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent." - Proverbs 17:28

"...he who restrains his lips is wise." Proverb 10:19

     Here's a tip, unless you have a good reason to speak, keep your mouth shut. Saying the wrong thing can cause things to go very bad, very quickly. If you were to treat a conversation in general like a business or even chess or war, and do a risk/reward analysis, I think you would find that the more you talk, the more you increase the severity and likelihood of a downside event. You may also slightly increase your possible upside gains, but on the net I think more talk equals more risk.

     The reason more talking doesn't increase upside gain or likelihood is that people are basically self centered. They don't want vigorous debate or to hear the opinions of others. They just want people to agree with them. It makes them feel validated. This is why people like others who they perceive to be like themselves. If you say something someone agrees with, they'll say "This guy is like me. I like him." But you can get better results by letting them do the talking & agreeing with something they say and praising them for how smart they are. This avoids the downside risk of saying the wrong thing.

     Any clever statement, or keen insight you make will be given less credit than it deserves. Or if you're too charming or too intelligent, then it may make them insecure, which means they will like you less. 

     When you talk too much, you're also bound to say something stupid. In Robert Greene's excellent book The 48 Laws of Power (by using this link, you help support the site.), Law 38 states, "Think as you like, but behave like others." Probably the easiest way to violate this is by simply by talking too much. Many people have opinions that don't jive with that of the majority. Stating opinions that are too controversial or too outside the norm, is a quick way to be ostracized.

     Most people aren't enlightened beings seeking only truth. No, they are vain self centered pieces of meat going through life on autopilot. They don't like things that shake their assumptions. If you say something they disagree with, they may conclude that you're a idiot or they may subconsciously take your opinion as an attack on their beliefs.

     You're probably saying, "That's ridiculous. Nobody acts like that."

     Really? Have you ever seen a meaningless difference of opinion between good friends erupt into a physical assault? Ever see a happily married couple go from having a normal conversation to fighting about things that happened years ago? Have you ever made an innocent statement, only to have someone blow up on you? Have you ever done so yourself? I have.

     I have blown up and afterward thought, "What was that?"

     So you see, talking is risky business.

     But you can't be too quite or others will think you are unfriendly. This is a problem that I used to have when I was younger. I was too quiet. Everybody assumed that I was smart. They also assumed that I was unfriendly and pissed off all the time.

     Upon learning this, I tried to correct my behavior and became more talkative. But now I think that I went a little too far and talk too much. 

     In fact, I know that I talk too much & have said things that should have gone unsaid.

    So, how do we solve this problem of being terse, but not coming off as unfriendly?

     Well I think the answer can be found in Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (Seriously, you need to read that book. Using this link helps support the site.)

In the book, Mr. Carnegie teaches that people will like more you if you seem to be interested in them. You show interest in them by asking questions and letting them do the majority of the talking.

     This is actually genius. Most people have a natural inclination to talk, especially about themselves. And they will talk as long as you let them. So simply by asking question you are able stay more or less silent while also endearing yourself to others. No risk of saying the wrong thing or seeming unintelligent, just stand there and let them do the work.

     This could have some very Machiavellian aspects to it, if you were so inclined. Just sit back and let people talk and talk and talk. The more they talk, the more they like you, the smarter you seem and the more information you are gathering about them. The more you understand them, the better you are able to manipulate them help them see your point of view.

     This would mean that if there is someone you dislike (maybe you could call them your enemy), maybe the best course of action would be to listen to them just like you would do with a friend. I'm not suggesting you be two faced or bad mouth them behind their back. That's the kind of talk that would backfire on you, and your reputation would suffer. I'm just thinking that if maybe your enemy doesn't know that he's your enemy, then I can't see any reason why you would be obligated to tell him. And if any circumstance arose where it was necessary to act against him, then he's given you the ammo to use. And you've given him nothing.

     It's probably also occurred to some of you that you could also possibly blackmail your enemy with information you've gained. First, I'm pretty sure that would be illegal, and thus ill advised. Second, I don't think blackmail would work without tangible evidence like photos, video or audio recording. Without tangible evidence anything you say can simply be denied. Third if you were to blackmail them while they were still unaware of the animus you have for them, they would go from being neutral toward you to being an obstacle. You would be better off using the insights you gain about their psychology to persuade them than to set them against you when you don't need to.

     So I started off with quotes from the Bible and ended with a Machiavellian type analysis. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Machiavelli would approve, but I'm not so convinced that the All Mighty would.

     Catch you guys next time.

Dose of Testosterone 9: Old Sports Cars

Cars this awesome don't need an introduction.

1965 427 Shelby Cobraion

1951 Fitch-Whitmore Le Mans Special

1953 Ferrari 166 

1960 Maserati

1964 Ferrari 275

1964 Ford GT40

1964 Jaguar E-Type

1964 Porsche 904GTS

1966 GT40 Mark II

1966 Jaguar XJ13

1969 TVR Tuscan

1969 TVR Tuscan

AC Cobra Lionheart

Alpine A-110

Ferrari 250 GTO

Ferrari

GT40  Shelby Cobra coupé

Morgan Plus 8

Morgan Plus 8

Morgan Plus 8

Porsche 904 Carrera GTS

Shelby Cobra Daytona Coupe

Toyota 2000GT

That's it for this post gentlemen. See ya next time.

Discipline

Its not enough  to be motivated, you must also be disciplined. Motivation waxes and wanes. Discipline will push you through, when motivation fails.

You'll hear people try to explain why they fail to do what they should or why they don't do the things that will bring the results they claim to want.

They say things like, "I just don't feel motivated to workout."

Let me tell you a secret about working out: you don't have to be motivated for it to work. You just have to do it. If you squat even though you don't feel motivated, your quads will still get bigger and stronger. You don't have to feel motivated for it to work. You just have to do it.

Do you call in to work and say "Sorry boss, I just don't feel motivated today." No, you get up and go to work. And you get paid for the work you do, no matter how you feel about it. Why would the rest of life be any different?

Being disciplined means doing what you need to do, whether you feel like it or not.

If I waited until I felt motivated to write, I wouldn't be writing this right now. I know that I need more content on the site. I know that its a bad idea to try to produce content on the day I intend to publish it. So here I am, writing this almost a week before I intend to publish it. After this post is finished, I'll do another.

And that is discipline. Having goals, having and plan to reach those goals, and then doing the work until the goals are reached.

If you are like most people, there are things in your life that you would like to improve. And if you are like most people, you'll do nothing to change them. Don't be like that. Don't be a loser who just floats aimlessly through life. The only thing you can change is yourself.

Motivational guru Jim Rohn used to say, "For things to change, you have to change."

And its true.

This isn't a virtue that is distinctly masculine. Its just part of being a winner, whether your a man or a woman.

Motivation doesn't last. Discipline does. Practice discipline. Do what you know you should do. Don't wait until you feel like doing it. That's what losers and soft men do. Do it now.

Of course you have to have time to relax. But set aside time for rest and relaxation. And make sure that it doesn't creep out of its allotted time.

But outside your allotted time for rest and relaxation, practice discipline in everything you do.

That's it for this post. Till next time, gents.

Perplexed by People

     I’ll admit it, I’m different. I don’t say this in a bragging way. Its just the way it is, or at least the way it seems to be. Truth be told, its difficult being different. Communicating with others is difficult, because my thought processes seem to be quite different than other people's. I see people and the things they do, and am completely befuddled, by their behavior. Thus I have found myself on what seems to be a never ending journey of trying to understand the thoughts, beliefs and motivations of others.

     One thing that has me complete flummoxed is an apathy that seems to infect most people. Maybe “apathy” isn’t the right word. Maybe “despondency” is the right word. Or maybe “contentment”. Maybe its “learned helplessness”.

     They makes me think of the story of 2 men on a porch talking. Next to the one of the men is a dog that just keeps whining. One man asks the other:

      “What’s wrong with your dog?”

     “He’s laying on a nail.”

     “Why doesn’t he move?”
   
     “I guess it doesn’t hurt bad enough.”

     Most of the people I know remind me of that dog. They want things to change, but they want to keep doing what they’ve always done.

     They want to lose weight, but don’t want to workout.

     They want to make more money, but don’t want to go to night school, or get a second job.

     They want to do better with women, but won’t bother learning the people skills that would help them.

     They’re not content, but they’re not discontent enough to do something about their situation.

     They want things to change, but they don't want to change.

     I am completely perplexed by this. Not that I am perfect; I’m not. But there is no way that I’m taking life lying down. I have to take action.

     Men and women who just go through the motions of life are in a pathetic state. Wake up, go to work, come home, watch 6 hours of reality television, go to bed, repeat. What a pointless state of existence.

     Maybe I’m just over complicating things. Maybe it comes down to what they value. Maybe they value the easy life more than they value success. Maybe they value comfort more than accomplishment. Maybe they value mind numbing trance that comes from watching 4 hours of television more than they value intelligence.

     Its their life, they can do what they want, I guess.

     But it seems like a pathetic way to live.

     Til next time, gentlemen.

On Self Esteem

     Here in the US of A people have completely lost their minds. This all started back in the 50's or 60's when psychologists noticed that high achievers had high self esteem. This led to a hypothesis that if we could raise someone's self esteem, they in turn would become higher achievers.

     This hypothesis filtered over into the education community and the media and the relationship between self esteem and success was reduced to the level of absurdity. Little Johnny flunked his math test? He must have low self esteem. Jane is a whore? She must have low self esteem. Steve has started stealing? Well, it can only be one thing...low self esteem.

     Outcomes were completely divorced from the behaviors that caused them. People's failures weren't their own. Blame was placed on institutions, such as school, family or even society,  for failing to build up the person's self esteem. Consequently, we now have a nation of self entitled whiners, who expect everything to go their way without them having to do anything to earn success. They are then disappointed, angered even, they may even lash out when reality fails to confirm their inflated sense of self.

     There is a chance that you are part of the aforementioned generation. If you are, let this post be the antidote to the poisonous ideas society may have put in your mind.

     You are not special.

     Read that again and let it soak in.

     Even if you have some special ability or gift, nobody cares. And nothing will come of your gift unless you mix it with a lot of work. Even then nobody is likely to care.

     Don't expect to have people clamoring to congratulate you when you do find success. Your successes don't mean anything to anyone but you, your spouse and maybe your parents. Honestly, your kids probably won't even care. Your friends and extended family may actually be jealous of your success. Nobody else will care.

     That's the reality.

     Any unwashed hippies who hear this truth, will say, "Hey man, we're, like all in this together. We got to help each other out, man." I've known hippies like this, and let me tell you, the don't say these kinds of things out of the naive, altruistic goodness of their heart. No they say this because they are weak and lazy and they intend to be net beneficiaries of a "help each other out" society. They plan on receiving more help than they give.

     I hate hippies.

     In the event that you are one of the diligent few, unaffected by society's feel good drivel, let me also say: have low expectations. Many think because they aim high their outcomes will be correspondingly high.

     They won't be.

     A farmer may plant crops on 10 acres, but he doesn't expect to harvest all that he planted. He knows that drought, insects, fungi and floods will come. And when they do, they will decrease the yield. The farmer plants 10 acres hoping that he'll get 5-8 acres worth of crops.

     Likewise, know that the fruits of your labor will be less than you hope for. So never make plans based on best case scenarios. Instead, base your plans on the worst case scenario.

     For those of you taken in by the happy horse crap propaganda that they taught you in school, this might all come across as a slap in the face. Good. I'm trying to wake you up to the realities of the world. And slapping someone in the face usually wakes them up. If you go through life with a misunderstanding of reality, you'll be confused and frustrated when things don't go the way you anticipated. After years of this frustration you may have a mental break and find yourself on top of a building shooting at passersby, convinced that they are to blame for all of your woes.

     So when you think about it, this is a humanitarian piece. I'm helping to prevent mass shootings.

     In summation, you aren't special, very few people care about you, and your plans will be less successful than you hope. Deal with it. Who would have ever thought that this is the type of thing that would stop mass shootings?

Catch you guys next time.

23 Awesome Dream Homes

     I think nearly everyone dreams, not just of one day owning a home, but of one day owning their dream home. I am also sure that somewhere in the world there are dirty hippies who would decry this type of dreaming as "materialistic" or "superficial". But I think dreams like this can be very useful. The pain of not having the things you want can be a powerful motivating force. To that end, here are some pics that hopefully impel you toward success.

My wife loves this. I told her that I love it too because there's enough room for us to shower together...along with 4-6 of her hottest friends. She was not amused.

Women love castles. My wife says this one needs a moat.

I don't have kids, but if I did...

I feel very strongly that the world needs more grottoes.

Contrary to feminist claptrap, most women I know are all about their kitchens.

The exhibitionist in me says that I need an outdoor shower. The pragmatist in me says that this is a good way to end up on the sex offender registry.

Stones, because drywall is for peasants.

Kettlebells

     I loves me some kettlebells. Some of you are probably thinking "Why would a grown man admit something like that?" I will grant you that kettlebells sort of have a bad reputation. And I understand why.

     Pavel Tsatsouline introduced kettlebells and his style of training to the USA in 1998. And almost over night, I began seeing kettlebells everywhere. The trouble is, most of the people hawking kettlebells had zero clue about how to use them. We had clowns telling people to use kettlebells for their 5x5 training. Others said that kettlebells were great for bodybuilding. I even saw a commercial for an at home training DVD, where the models were just holding tiny, pink kettlebells directly out in front of them. Seriously, what the heck people?

     So i completely understand why kettlebells have a bad reputation. But don't judge the implement harshly just because some jackasses do stupid crap with them. Let me be clear, kettlebells are not good for bodybuilding. And they aren't good for strength training. They will work in a pinch if you can't make it to the gym for a week or two. But if your main goal is getting huge and/or strong, kettlebells aren't going to be your main training apparatus.

     But kettlebells shine in one area; ballistic exercises done for high reps...or usually for very high reps. What do I mean by "ballistic movements"? Ballistic exercises are exercises where speed is an inherent trait of the exercise. The Olympic lifts and their variants done with a barbell are a perfect example. You can't slow down the speed of a snatch and successfully complete the lift.

     Ballistic exercises commonly done with a kettlebell include kettlebell snatches, cleans, jerks and swings. There are others. like the kettlebell high pull, but basically nobody does them. Snatches, cleans, jerks and swings are the meat and potatoes of kettlebell training.

     So what do I mean by "high reps"? I mean sets of 100 or more reps. In competitive kettlebell lifting, competitors do as many reps as they can in 10 minutes without setting the bells down. I imagine a 10 minute set is very painful.

    I imagine you're saying. "So what? You're doing weird exercises with a weird implement for high reps. What's the big deal?" The big deal is that ballistic movements done for high reps are amazing for fat loss and conditioning. And because of their shape kettlebells are great for doing ballistic movements for high reps.

     If you wanted to do 1 arm snatches, but wanted to do lower rep sets to focus on strength, then a barbell would be the implement to use. Let me tell you, heavy 1 arm barbell snatches are very cool. But when it comes to doing higher reps, barbells and dumbbells aren't so good. After lowering a barbell or dumbbell, you have to reset before each rep.  The way kettlebells are shaped, allows you to get into a rhythm, like in this video:

     You can't really get into rhythm like that with barbells or dumbbells.

     Pave Tsatsouline in one of his books tells of a Russian study where two groups are run through a battery of tests designed to test general fitness. Each of the two groups were assigned to a training protocol. One group trained by doing the exercises they had been tested on. The other group trained with kettlebells. After several weeks the groups were retested on the same battery of exercises. The scientist found that the group that trained with kettlebells actually had bigger improvements.

     Tracy Reifkind lost a 100 lb in less than a year, doing just kettlebell swings three times per week. She ended up losing 120 lb in less than 15 months.

This woman needs to take off the gloves and forearm protection.

     I personally lost a ton of fat in about 6 weeks by adding 2 sets of swings to my regular strength training. I'm not the kind of person who measures my food. I don't even weigh myself. I was just in front of a mirror without a shirt on one day and something just caught my eye. I could see my abs. I wasn't super cut by any means. But I did it with zero dieting and no special training beyond 2 sets of swings per day, 5-6 days per week.

     Kettlebellers talk a lot about what they call the "What the Hell" effect. Basically after spending a few months training seriously with kettlebells, you'll find other things are easier. You'll casually run up a flight of stairs, instead of slowly trudging up them. Helping your buddy move his couch will be a piece of cake.

     My WTH moment came when a friend and I needed to unload a 40 semi trailer packed with many tons of frozen food. And I don't mean unload by using a dolly. Because of the setup, we had to unload it by hand. I don't know how long it took, but it was a lot of work. When it was all over, I remember thinking "That wasn't that bad. Huh, must be the kettlebells." I was barely sore the next day.

     And that, gentlemen, is why I loves me some kettlebells.