Petty Machiavellianism for the Modern World

     Psychologists are full of crap. Not completely full of crap, but largely full of crap. I think that the problem originates with the fact that most psychologists are leftists. And to be a leftist you must necessarily ignore the existence  of reality. This group then seeks to influence the lives of others. Also, leftism is a utopian ideology. That is, it is concerned not with what is, but what should be.

      These foundational problems lead the field of psychology to get behind some really stupid ideas. One stupid idea posited by the field is that passive aggressiveness is bad. They even have a diagnosis for people who frequently engage in passive aggressive behavior...as if it is a disease. The entry on Wikipedia states that passive aggressive behavior "is damaging". Really? It "is damaging"? As if that is a fundamental characteristic of passive aggressiveness. So if it is not damaging, is it not passive aggressive?

     Really, passive aggressiveness isn't good or bad. Its just a strategy, a way of handling things. I don't know where psychologists get the idea that things are always best handled in a direct manner. Frequently in life, dealing with things in an indirect manner is preferable to more direct means. In fact, when in doubt, use indirect methods. It is true when dealing with loved ones, for whom you have the best of intentions. It is even more true when dealing with your enemies.

     For the last 15 or so years, my wife has worked with a particularly horrible woman. When everyone else has to take on extra work, she is always able to get out of it. When the employees were given the more flexible shift options, this woman tried (and almost succeeded) in having the option taken away from everyone, because she didn't want to participate. She constantly makes life harder for others. For some reason, despite several changes in management, no one was willing to do anything about this problematic employee.

     But this woman has a weakness. She is obsessive compulsive and she hates change. Everything on her desk has a place and she can't stand to have people touch her stuff. Instead of waiting 15 years, hoping that management would some day do something about this woman, my wife & her coworkers could have taken matters into their own hands. Using passive aggressive methods they could have driven this woman into quitting.

     Since she is so particular about her work space, the other employees should have moved her stuff every time she left her desk. I'm not saying they should trash everything. That would have been too overt. But little things like moving a pen to the middle of her desk, slightly askew, would have bothered her. Or moving her horse figurine to the other side of the desk, moving her lunch to a different spot in the fridge, or turn her keyboard face down. These are childish things that wouldn't bother most adults, but they would have driven this woman crazy.  If she ever asked who was doing it, the whole office could then gaslight her by saying "No one went near your desk." After about a week of this type of behavior, this woman would have started looking for another job.

     Of course this does rise to the level of Cesare Borgia. But we live in crazy times and going around annexing neighboring cities isn't held in as high esteem as it once was. The fact is that this is the type of thing most people face in their daily lives. It may seem petty, but it is perfectly reasonable to handle a situation when management is unwilling. The methods above would have been effective in this instance and would have been deniable by the participants. That makes them doubly good. Another person in my wife's office who was willing to play petty office politics was able to screw my wife out of a major promotion and about a $20,000.00 per year pay raise. This person didn't gain anything by do so. Like the say, you either play or you get played. Who cares if someone thinks that being passive aggressive is bad. I'm sure Machiavelli would have approved.

Its All Your Fault!

      I have yet to achieve the life that I want. But there was a time when my life was much worse. I had job problems, family problems, marriage problems...basically, every area of my life was plagued with problems.

     Then one day, while driving home, I was replaying in my head various bad things that had happened to me. Replaying who screwed me, who wasn't there for me when I needed them. Then came a moment of clarity..."Its my own damn fault." Those were the exact words that went through my mind. In fact I was so deep in my own thoughts that I think I might have actually said them out loud.

     Yeah, I had a couple of bad bosses and more than a few bad jobs. But that was my fault. I knew they sucked. I knew they were going to screw me, but I stuck around instead of getting into a better job. People who claimed to care about me were nowhere to be found when I needed them. But had I been observant I would have seen that they never intended to be there for me.

     It was my fault. All of it.

     That was when my life started to get better.

     You can't change circumstances, you can only change yourself. Its deeply freeing to know that its all up to you. Sounds weird, but its true.

     Your success is up to you. Situations will change. Sometimes they will be more favorable, usually they will be less than favorable. But any situation that has stymied you, has been overcome by someone else. Which means that if you fail, it was your fault. But if you can identify the source of your failure, you can fix it, ensuring success in the future.

      Can't get a date? That's not the fault of feminism. That's your fault. Hit the gym & work on your social skills. Become a man that a woman would be proud to date. Your wife or kids mad at you? Maybe you should improve your communication skills. Drive a crappy car? Maybe you should put down the video game controller and start looking for a second job.

        If you want to rise above the horde, who mindlessly meander through life, you must constantly upbraid yourself.  Accept responsibility for everything. And constantly try to improve your shortcomings. The only thing you can control in this world is yourself.