Reputation

     Cultivate your reputation. Be known to possess all the virtues that a man should possess.
   
     Imagine your reputation like a garden. No one would grow just one type plant and consider themselves an accomplished gardener. Can you imagine if one of your friends said to you:
   
     “I think I need to start growing my own food, so I’m going start growing tomatoes.”
   
     You’d say something like “Okay, what else are you going to grow?”
   
     “Nothing, just tomatoes.”
   
     “You want to grow your own food, but just tomatoes?”
   
     “Yes.”
   
     “So you don’t want to grow your own food. You just want grow tomatoes.”
   
     It seems crazy doesn’t it? There’s nothing wrong with growing tomatoes, but if you just grow tomatoes, you aren’t really growing your own food nor are you an accomplished gardener.
   
     Likewise men who only focus on one, or even several, aspects of life aren’t cultivating a reputation worth having. Working out is good. But if you only focus on your physical strength, and don’t strengthen your mind, you are an incomplete man. If you have multiple doctorates but don’t have the social skills necessary to form meaningful bonds with friends and family, you are not complete.
   
     Don’t misconstrue this to mean that I think you should do everything. You can’t and you shouldn’t even try. But you should possess all the traits necessary to be a good man and to be good at being a man. Strength, honor, thumos, intellect, honesty, physical endurance, grit, et cetera.  Possess all these traits and more. Constantly be on the lookout for weaknesses, chinks in your reputation, and then eliminate them.

     Catch you next time, gents.

Dose of Testosterone 10: Man Caves

     Lots of men in modern America have fallen victim to the idea that all of their time must be family time and that family time is all about the kids. Every second of the day is dedicated to the kids. Men are constantly shuttling children to and from little league practice, drama practice, football fund raisers. Well, I'm here to tell you that the world doesn't revolve around you children. But they will think that it does if you make your life revolve around them. The sooner those little urchins learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, the better. Help them learn this lesson by taking time and space for you, just you. To that end, here are some inspiring man caves.

Not extravagent, but a realistic man cave.

I like unconventional houses.

Classic

Ritzy court.

My wife loved this.

The ultimate, a man cave that is an actual cave.

Mastery of Self

     Mastery of self, this should be one of your primary goals. If you cannot control yourself, then you cannot control anything. If you cannot control yourself, you cannot succeed. If you can’t control yourself, then you are destined to forever be an average chump.

     Everyone has known people, who in spite of possessing enviable amounts of talent, never lived up to their talent, because they refused to discipline themselves. Don’t be that person.

Self control is partly why, MJ Demarco drives a Lambo and you don't.

     Don’t be the person who floats through life following the plan that others have for him. Don’t be the person who doesn’t read a single book after graduating high school or college. Don’t be like the average American who watches 5 hours of television per day. Don’t be like the average American who is 23 pounds overweight. Don’t be the person who pisses away his money at the club every weekend hoping to land some meaningless sex from a stranger.

     If you want to get better than average results, then you’re going to have to have better that average actions. You don’t have time to waste. If you are in your teens or 20’s, don’t put off discipline. Remember when you were a kid and time seemed to pass slowly. Summers lasted forever, and the school year lasted even longer. And then one day, time seemed to shift gears and everything began going by faster? Well, that keeps happening. By the time you reach your mid-twenties entire years fly by in the blink of an eye.

This ballsy little bastard can burn himself alive, but you can't workout consistently.

     I once read about a study where scientist calculated this change in the way we perceive time over the course of our life and found that in terms of perceived time, you have lived half of your life by age 15. Think about that. Think about the span of time from your earliest memory until your 15 birthday. Now realize that from your 15 birthday until you death will seem just as short.
   
     Not to get preachy, but that makes me think of a quote from the Bible:


     “We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow we quickly disappear.” - Job 14:2


     Our lives a racing by quicker than we can comprehend. Make the most of yourself so that you can make the most of the little time you’re given.

     Till next time, gents.

A Secret About Life

If, like me, you grew up in America after 1980, then you, like me, were likely subjected to a lot of what I like to call “Hippie Horse Crap”. Now “Hippie Horse Crap” crap is an umbrella term that involves a lot of small things like teaching children how do develop a positive self-image, or how to forgive yourself and rid yourself of any negative emotion. Some of my favorites are things like “Do what you love” or “Follow your dreams.” Or even “Getting a college degree guarantees you a good job.”

The problem with all of this “Hippie Horse Crap” is that it frequently implies that you should only focus on the positive. And the problem with that is that life is full of negative stuff. Which means that most people go into adulthood not prepared for what is about to come their way.

Remember kids, never listen to hippies.

Not long after striking out on their own, life hits them in the face with a 2x4. And our newly minted adult never saw it coming.

Well, let me tell you something about life: It’s going to be hard.

I really wish someone would have told me that. It sounds really simple. It’s obvious to the point of stupidity. You may even be saying to yourself, “Of course it’s going to be hard! Whoever told this clown it was going to be easy?” But really in my defense and the defense of hundreds of thousands of males growing up in the United States today, it’s really easy to go 20, 25 or even 35 years of your life without ever being told. You may have to go through several battles in your life before you realize that “hard” is the default setting in life.

But now you know and “forewarned is forearmed.”

Let me tell you another secret about life, if you act prudently and try to prepare for trouble, before it arrives  at your doorstep, the problem isn’t quite as vexing. And decreasing the mental stress of life goes a long way toward making life easier.

Money may not buy happiness, but a lack of it makes things more stressful.

So if you’re smart and decide to forego the convention of working only 40 hours a week and decide instead to get a part time job in order to pad your bank account, it will be less troubling when your refrigerator quits working. If you decide to skip the club scene and instead look for a person who is wife material, you’ll significantly increase your odds of finding a soul mate and having a fulfilling marriage.

Life will still be hard. There will still be trouble. But if you use your head, you may find ways to make trouble less…uhh…troubling.

Till next time, gents.